When To Disconnect // When To Reconnect

messy thoughts

Emma is the editor & creator (and occasionally writer) for The Messy Heads. She enjoys yellow curry, print media, and singing to herself.

WE HOLD connections in the palm of our hand. Lines stretch from the screen to people all the way across the world, down the street, and behind the scenes of things we would never be able to see otherwise. And that’s incredible that we can go backstage at a Chanel runway, be in the barrel with Kelly Slater, see best friends faces when they are across the country, and have breakfast with favorite bloggers. But when is the best time to keep up with these connections, and when is it time to put the phone down and focus on in person connections? Let’s list it out.


by Emma

When to Disconnect

At Lunch With a Friend- I think this should go without saying, but besides the quick aerial shot of your lunch (ONLY IF IT LOOKS SUPER SUPER GOOD) you should have your phone in your purse, in your pocket, and put away. Put energy into a thoughtful conversation, and really resonate with the person sitting across from you sharing your fries.

Concert- There is already so much standing between you and your favorite artist, distance, fame, an earbud, so when you get to a concert, and actually have them right there, alive, breathing in front of you, why would you EVER break that contact by putting up your phone, for a shitty quality snapchat video?

Out In Nature- Tuck your phone away in your bag, only to be used in emergency situations. The whole point of walking about in nature is to have all of your senses activated, smell the crisp air, feel the crunch of leaves and twigs beneath your feet, listen for babbling waters, see lush green foliage. When you are instead tuned into waiting for a text message or social media notifications, you lose all of that.

In the Early Mornings- This is something we are all guilty of, rolling over and checking your phone first thing. It’s tempting, but I have found that when I look at new messages, emails, and notifications right when I wake up, I forget about them within ten minutes because I am so groggy. That means that important ideas or plans slip through the cracks and I’m stuck sending “oh shit, sorry I missed your message, can you still go get coffee?” texts at 4 pm.

Trying to Do Homework- Seriously. This can turn a simple thirty minute assignment into a three hour ordeal. When I need to get some serious studying done, I leave my phone in another room.

In the Car- If you are in the drivers seat this is an obvious one, you’ve seen the awareness campaigns and we can all agree no text message is worth your life. With that being said, I think the person in the passenger seat also has an obligation to stay off their phone- to an extent. It sucks to be driving while the other person is distracted and off in their own world, you feel like a chaufer. But, the passenger always makes a good DJ and a GPS system.

Eating Dessert- Dessert is purely for your enjoyment, so stop and savor each indulgent bite. I’ve been scrolling through my phone eating ice cream before, and you get to the end and realize your done. It’s like reading an entire page of a book and then reaching the end and not remembering what that page was even about.

When To Reconnect

Cultivate a Positive feed- There are so many amazing people on social media I follow that when I am scrolling through and stop and see their posts, I can’t help but feel inspired. Likewise, unfollowing some people brightens up my timeline in the same way. I follow only close friends and accounts that inspire me in some way.  Here are some accounts to check out on instagram…

Seekthetruth , TrippydanaNatgeo, Ellenfisher, Isabellaamente

Working Out- To help boost your workout, turn on your device and connect to a bunch of guided workouts. Blogilates youtube channel is great for this. If you are heading out for a run or bike ride where you need something to listen to, download a podcast (I really like Rich Roll) or make a good playlist.

Feeling Down- This is a great time to go on your favorite site, tumblr, pinterest, watch some youtube videos, and focus on positive voices and opportunities instead of dwelling on whatever negativity is in your life at that moment.

Lunch Alone- I love going for a nice quiet lunch in-between classes or going to coffee by myself to just get some me time. When I have this time set aside just for me and whatever I end up ordering, I’m either reading a book or vegging out on my phone.

Study Breaks- Keep your phone in the other room while studying, and take 15 minute breaks after an hour of working, it helps decompress & keep stress levels down.

When you don’t know what to do today- There is so much daily inspiration in your hand, check out what DIY projects you can find, what art people are making, what they are wearing and cooking, and see if something sticks and make a day project out of it.

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0 Comments

  1. I love how you’re outlook focuses on making the most of what we have by not categorising it as being negative and looking for the positives.You talk so much sense, I agree with what you have said a lot!!!!! On Friday I was at event with Anna Wintour (yes the Anna Wintour I can’t believe it myself) and she said ‘Don’t let social media be a substitute for living’ which I think is really important. The purest moments in life are those of freedom, feeling a connection to your surrounding and appreciating the wholeness of the situation you’re in truly brings happiness. I do admit a lot of my life is spent online, but living a REAL life is most important to me.

    Infinity of fashion// Lucy Jane

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  3. Bekie W says

    Love this so much. I usally get caught up in the moment with my phone. I won’t even think to put it down because it is such a (bad) habit to just be scrolling through ig while waiting for food at lunch or while in the car. I am going to a concert this April and my goal is to not use my phone the entire time and just live in the moment because after all you can capture moments forever but not feelings. <33 much love

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