Peek Inside My Journal #2

messy thoughts

Emma is the editor & creator (and occasionally writer) for The Messy Heads. She enjoys yellow curry, print media, and singing to herself.

I constantly carry journals with me- I am in a transition period between journals right now so I have four in my bag in case I need to look back at previous pages. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t write in them. Whether it is a full on recap of the whole day or a reminder of something I need from the supermarket. I have too many things bouncing around in my head all the time, so I need to get them on paper before they slip my mind.

These past three months since I moved to LA have had some very emotional and transitional journal pages for me. Unfortunately I can’t publish a lot of them because they disclose details involving other people or are perhaps just too personal to share, but here are some excerpts from two journals and three months of my life.


Left Side: Brain Storm Page, from Australia

Right Side: Positive Intentions, after meditating on a mountain in Australia

Body/ eat clean, no oil, tofu, processed bread, butter, crackers, anything not good for your body shouldn’t go in it. give yourself the best- fresh fruits, veggies, whole grains, root veggies, rice. eat direct whole foods. get your body moving. running every day. yoga + gym.

Mind/ Read more, write more, stop distracting yourself by scrolling or binge watching mindlessly. go to seminars, participate actively in debates, read the newspaper. take online courses or sign up for lessons. practice german more, there is so much to learn, take the time to sort through your thoughts instead of pushing them aside.

Soul/ connect with yourself and your purpose more. take time out to meditate. pay attention to energy, the cycles, your intuition. Be kind, give more and love the ones around you. hold crystals, set your intentions, and manifest your dream life. 



Some doodles trying to come up with a new messy heads shirt

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Some more random doodles

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Right Side: A piece I wrote on the concept of Home (continued on next page)

The home in my heart has no walls. My kitchen is not limited to a microwave and fridge. My home is filled with cast iron pots, indian spices, dried rose tea, crepe pans and skillets specifically for sauerkraut.  I fill my kitchen with aromas from side streets in italy I wandered off through at midnight, between the bar and my bed for the night. 

My bedroom in my home is simply wherever I get a good night’s sleep. Sometimes yes, it is in fluffy white sheets swapping the mint for my cheeks- but more it’s in tight spaces in planes, wedging my knees up to my chin. It’s night trains and buses and the foreign boy’s bed. My bedroom is simply where I lay my head. 


Left Side: Continuation from the Home piece

The living room is a space where I converse, read, and watch. It’s in a 500 year old Viennese coffee shop. It’s in a theater with eleven violins and a girl hitting a high C. It is in actual living rooms over a cup of tea with leaves from their own garden. 

My living room consists of the spaces in which I interact and keep to myself. 

My bathroom is where I refresh with yellow tiles and soap stains and bathtubs with a rusty chain. Sometimes it is just where I put on my makeup, in big well lit powder rooms or the reflection of a phone screen. 

the backyard in my heart spans oceans and mountains and more. It reaches heights and depths I have yet to explore. 

The home in my heart has no walls. 

Right Side: Some thoughts on porn after a talk with Iz

When you are watching porn, first know that they are actors. They are performing stunts you can’t do and angling their bodies perfectly towards the camera. They are well rehearsed and everything is going so smoothly. their goal as actors is to make you, the viewer, orgasm, and not to make themselves orgasm. What they are doing is for your visual appeal and not their bodily pleasure. Real sex is not a performance for some third party. There is not somebody who is obviously dominant. It is a team experience. It gets awkward, you laugh, and you communicate more beyond dirty talk. Tits, ass, and dick aren’t the star of the show. Often it’s your connection, the way you look in their eyes or the experience itself. 


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  1. misora says

    i really loved this post and especially the tshirt design on the bottom left of the right page!! xx

  2. I love seeing how people express themselves through their journals because everyones way is so individual, my journals consist of all the things that whirl round my head, what I see and so much more. You’re little doodles are the cutest, a lot better than mine!

    Infinity of fashion// Lucy Jane

  3. Danika Bendt says

    I absolutely love this! The last passge is seriously so spot on and enlightening. I wish more people could read your work and feel as empowered and inspired as i do, keep it up i love you!!!!

  4. I don’t know how I came across your YouTube channel, then blog, then personal blog, then insta, etc etc, today.. but I’m really glad I did!!!! love everything I’ve seen so far. Thanks of the inspo & the want to keep radiating positivity xxx

  5. Lindsay Mitchell says

    I’m loving the stay messy in rainbow, and hope you use it on a T-shirt!!!

  6. Cassidy Cutright says

    I’ve been reading your blog and following all of your social media for awhile now and I have to tell you, you are such a positive inspiration on me, always! Just seeing your snap chat stories brings me positiveness. I love all of the hard work you put into life 🙂

  7. Katie says

    I really needed this. Lately I’ve been slacking on writing in my journal but now I’m going to make it more of a priority, so thank you!! ❤️

  8. I absolutely love the diary entry about home in the heart. I’m travelling at the moment and I feel the same. Home is not always a place, sometimes it’s another beating heart.

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